Sunday, 30 May 2010

Toothpaste Revenge

Kath's preceding title has prompted me to add this snippet of useless information. It demonstrates the kind of weekend I'm having...

I had toothpaste take it's revenge on me this morning, for all those times I'd sqeedged its tube's belly to get a blob of dentifrice from its orifice to polish my gnashers. I was being a good girl, you see, brushing my teeth after eating breakfast, thus giving it the opportunity to retaliate. It waited until it reached its foamiest, most dribblesome consistency, whereupon it leaped through my brush-ambushed lips, and drolloped half a dozen elongated, oval splodges on my nice, clean sweater. Shall I wear them with pride, as proof of oral hygiene, or shall I discard the jumper, virtually unworn, and use up more water and soap powder than our struggling planet might like? What would you do?

Monday, 24 May 2010

Women's revenge

'Cash, cheque or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet , I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked.
'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'

...aNOtHEr dIp INtO ThE mAGpIE mEMOrY pOOoL.

Wednesday, 5 May 2010

SEX at 82!

SEX AT 82!

I just took a leaflet out of my mailbox, informing me that I can have sex at 82!

I'm sooooo happy, because I live at 102... so it's not too far to walk home afterwards!

fabulous photo from Geekphilosopher

...aNOtHEr dIp INtO ThE mAGpIE mEMOrY pOOoL.