Sunday, 30 May 2010

Toothpaste Revenge

Kath's preceding title has prompted me to add this snippet of useless information. It demonstrates the kind of weekend I'm having...

I had toothpaste take it's revenge on me this morning, for all those times I'd sqeedged its tube's belly to get a blob of dentifrice from its orifice to polish my gnashers. I was being a good girl, you see, brushing my teeth after eating breakfast, thus giving it the opportunity to retaliate. It waited until it reached its foamiest, most dribblesome consistency, whereupon it leaped through my brush-ambushed lips, and drolloped half a dozen elongated, oval splodges on my nice, clean sweater. Shall I wear them with pride, as proof of oral hygiene, or shall I discard the jumper, virtually unworn, and use up more water and soap powder than our struggling planet might like? What would you do?

7 comments:

Kath said...

Oh dear Jinksy, it happens to me often. I ususally sponge it off and go out with a huge wet patch on my shirt. People assume I have been drinking and got to the stage where I started missing my mouth. Expecting an interesting reply,I posed this question to my Husband who is well known in our family for his eye-rolling wit. He mused for a moment and said "I would splash more toothpaste on my shirt and go out. To anyone I noticed studying the splats, I would say it was an "ink spot" shirt and ask them what they saw. Whatever they said, I would nod sagely and say "well that says something very interesting about you" and then refuse to tell them what it is..."
I should have known better than to ask him, he has a strange mind :D

Uncle Bernard K.D. said...

Yes, it happens to us all, which is why I now brush my teeth 'topless'!

Try is girls, who's to see you in your bathroom?

Reading up a storm said...

Skip the tooth brush and paste in the morning - chew gum to remove loose food and improve your breath

Von said...

It's a lifelong problem, only slightly worse is the curry stain on the new white T shirt.

C.J.Duffy said...

Whenever I spill pasta sauce down a shirt I simply put on a tie. That always does it for me!

x

wastedpapiers said...

Badges work for me. Small one inch dia. for small jam stains and larger 2 inch badges for toothpaste, glue and semolina.

Kath said...

I'm liking your style Wastedpapiers, not like my old man, messing with peoples heads :D