Tuesday, 20 July 2010

THE FLIES CRAWLED UP THE WINDOW by Ray Starita & His Ambassadors

The flies crawled up the window,
It’s all they have to do
They went up by the thousand
And came down two by two.
The flies crawled up the window,
They said we love to roam
So once more up the window,
And then we’ll all go home

(Orchestral interlude)

The flies crawled up the window
They said let’s have a race
We backed a fly called Oswald
To win and for a place
At five to one he started,
He soon got in his stride
He started crawling sideways
And he got disqualified

(Orchestral Interlude)

The flies crawled up the window
In sunshine and in rain
They do not seek for pleasure
They much prefer the “pane”
And if those flies annoy you
Then here’s what I advise
Just don’t have any windows
And then you’ll have no flies

(Jack Hulbert / Douglas Furber / Vivian Ellis)


Wednesday, 14 July 2010

Eating Banana's

Alarming sights have recently been seen in the Sutton area as some weeks ago a large organic mass was seen wallowing down the road breathless and weighty. One passer by described the vision as being blond with barrage balloon like breasts that wobbled as if they were two beach balls trapped under canvas. However, in recent days the self same blonde blob has shed amazing amounts of fat turning into, as one male with a large appetite for young females said, a feast of pure sexual beauty.

A photographer from the local newspaper has been dispatched to gather pictorial evidence and is currently camouflaged as a privet hedge outside the young females bathroom with his lens polished and his camera primed.

Snotworthy Littlehampton,
Purveyor of Exquisite Cheese,
OYEAH Design in Pants,
Penal Pint Tomb

.aNOtHEr dIp INtO ThE mAGpIE mEMOrY pOOoL.